It was a bright sunny day in November 2012. I had just returned home from a night shift and I was so tired. I hurriedly had a warm shower and crawled in to bed. I did not even eat anything. Halfway through my sleep I heard my mum call out to me. She wanted me to go and pick my siblings from my Aunty Tinuke’s (fictional name) house. I am sure you will pity me now. Considering I had just gotten back home from a night shift (why are moms like that) sigh* lol.
I reluctantly got out of bed, dressed up and waltz out of my room. I got to my aunt’s house with my face in my hands, like I’m not even smiling. Guess what the kids said, that they are not going home. That they want to spend more time with their cousins (eyes rolling now). Many thoughts ran through my mind and I settled for the easiest one. I went into one of the rooms and continued my beauty sleep…..
In my world of serenity and lonely pleasure. I feel so alone but not lonely. why? I embraced my loneliness and wrapped it around me so tight it felt like a clingy lingerie that I could not do without.
In my pursuit of elated bliss I opted for the one thing that meant the most to me- I felt in tune with my world, my personal definition of grace, my path to wholeness , my recognition of faith , my understanding of life, my relationship with the universe and its constituents, my belief, my believe.
All these towards a path of life. A path of self-searching , self-acceptance and self-actualization. I reasoned within myself that if one part of me is lacking another part of me will complement for it. For instance, if i’m not married then I can be engaged in another fulfilling role that will give me more pleasure and a sense of fulfillment, or if I lack formal education I can work towards self-development which in itself is a form of education. Moreover, there are many people on this earth who have not been in a classroom, however they possess qualities that can be learn in an educational facility. In short, achievements in life is based on perception, grace, and fortitude.
Is this faith or fate, is it my belief in the existence of the most high God or is it the notion that people live in seasons in their lifetime. There is no need to doubt that the existence of a supreme being is a factor in life achievements.
I had a dream. In that dream I was in an alley, surrounded by soldiers. On one side of the alley were soldiers in blue colored uniform, and on the other were soldiers in camouflage uniforms. They were warring against each other.
The alley was the only way to my house which was on the other side of the road. I had three options: to either join the blue team, the camouflage team or to just walk through like nothing is happening. From where I was standing, I could see the way they were killing each other and I couldn’t tell which team was winning. Maybe that would have justified which one I would join.
So, I joined the blue team and I started my journey to the other end of the alley dodging bullets, knives, fist fights. As I was about to get to the end of the alley, a member of the blue team just came towards me and said ‘I don’t know you! and guess what he did, he slit my throat, but my head was still held together by the skin at the back of my head.
I didn’t stop running, with my head dangling along I did not stop to check the state of my condition, my feet kept propelling me forward. Thankfully, I eventually got to the end of the alley.
As I stepped out, suddenly, my head was back in place, no traces of blood or any injury, people were going about their daily activities. It was as if that alley never existed, I walked home and hug my foster parents and I was glad I made it home alive.