It was a dark rainy Thursday morning, I was already looking forward to the weekend. It was the day before my wedding ceremony. I was going to marry the love of my life and I couldn’t wait any longer. The rain brought surreal memories because it reminded me of a devastating incident that happened to me 13 months ago.
‘Shikemi, you need to call Toba and ask him’. I mean, you can not continue to imagine that someone loves you just by his inaction! This guy hasn’t called you for over 3 weeks and you are here playing excuses in your head about him being busy?! – That is Nifemi, raining down bitter truth up on me.
Toba and I had what some people call ‘off and on’ relationship. We shared a lot of good and bad times and I’m sure I lost count of every moment of joy and sadness. He is that kind of guy that will bring down Zeus whenever he has done wrong just to appease me. I think I liked that about him.
He will always apologize for things he did and didn’t do Lool. But, that was not enough to lay a good foundation for our ‘situationship’. Toba has had his fair share of heart break and couldn’t bring himself to commit to another one. Even though it was obvious that we loved each other.
Fast forward, we went our separate ways in a beautiful way. I remembered we both arrived with parting gift at our dinner table (I think that gave us a good closure). For once, we spoke about our relationship and we were able to analyse why we couldn’t get married. Our love was too shallow, we were very ok at a distance but when we are together, it was like we brought the distance into the room.
Our imagination of our expectation was what kept us for two years and not our actual feeling or emotions. We would have continued like that if something inside of me, propelled by Nifemi ( my reality button) was not triggered to ask.
In my opinion, I think we are sometimes clouded by our imagination to the extend that it blinds us physically. We probably continue in that fragmentation without realizing that time waits for absolutely no one.
Well, like I mentioned earlier, it’s the last day of me being titled ‘Miss’. Cheers to forever.
To be continued…